What's the feeling of building a high building and it collapse?

I really dunno what's wrong with me. Or is it 老天在玩弄我. I envy people with smart brain, people with all the luck around. I just have to go through retest for every single module in year 3? First is AR than, ANS and now MSN. I asked myself I really did put in a lot of effort and why is it always going down the drain especially MSN! Even the teacher can see i put in a lot of effort. Every time i told myself is alright i will do better next time but is always the negative way happens. WHY???? Am i really that stupid or what??? Who to blame all this?? only MYSELF! I think i am really STUPID, brainless, super unlucky!Makes me don't feel like studying for the next test. What will happen again. Retest???? Put in effort retest don't put in effort also retest. Ya, maybe i should get use to retest. I've got extreme low self-esteem now after all these happen. All i ask for is just a pass is it so hard? Maybe i shouldn't belong to here in the first place. F*** this world. NO MATTER how hard i try is the same result. My mood is really sink to the bottom. =(